Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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