And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I stole a fireplace last night.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
