like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize