oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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