PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
