it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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