he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
