There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
