My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
