we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize