Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
we're so committed to being not committed
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize