too bad you live with your parents still
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
