then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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