Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize