she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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