We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
