i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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