Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
