honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize