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You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
