You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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