dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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