I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
