My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
