No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
