"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just found puke in my bra..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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