Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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