I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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