We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
try to milk me bitch
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