Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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