are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
A+ Viking dick
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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