remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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