you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize