before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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