turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
