I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
