Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
