i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
