marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
