Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
