AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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