Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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