So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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