I just saw a hot homeless man
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
