his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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