So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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