those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
