Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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