OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
