I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
