This is not my ceiling
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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