thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
