I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
