I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
