sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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