Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
