Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
