Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
