ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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